PawZ's Poems and Short Storys Anyone can post (Pg) ONLY PLZ!

PawZ here i wanted to be the first to start posting storys so heres a shotry stoy i wrote for my grade 12 English class i had to use the very last line in my story so here it is any comments wellcome , i know there are some awkward senceteces


A Grave Untouched

Deep in the woods the leaves danced in the hot wind ,dipping low, and then softly being pushed back up, setting them off into their wild dance again. This windy night was oddly quiet, not people nor animals made much noise.
Along a beaten down path ,a ratty old cabin stands shivering in the wind like a cold child, it almost seemed to lean to the forest for more warmth. The door to the cabin hung on one hinge, swayed with the wind opening quickly and tapping against the weakened frame lightly. The windows dark with dirt showed a slight reflection of the only light sources around. One was the ever moving moon and the other a faded beam of light from a flashlight. The flashlight only giving small bits of light because the near dead batteries bounced within it causing the beam to shut on and off with every step.
The only sound for miles around was that of feet on the worn down trail, the rattle of batteries and the trickle of water from the river. Occasionally the sound of breathing could be heard but was then covered again by the soft wind.
Only the owls and other animals of the night could see the small women walking down the path. She would walk a few steps with the padding of her shoes dragging in the bits of mud along the path. Small stones rolled as she kicked them, not noticing she remained looking at the old cabin. Her eyes met with a pile of rocks placed there one on top of another creating a small memorial about two feet high. She then began to, cry tears rolled from her fair cheeks and splashed on the ground. She leaned down and placed a flower at the foot of the pile and turned her head away.
She then turned and walked away slowly, descending down the path, once again hidden by the forest. The grave once looking untouched for so long was renewed by the vibrant red flower.
The cabin stood alone once more , there was no one there to notice ,[u]a corner of the roof was loose and hot wind blew down the river and the loose corner clanged in the wind.

By. PawZ ... Dillon

Ya.. only thing I have to say to this is that its very well done in the beginning, lots of imagery, and it gives me the feeling of a halloween house. But as you continue along it goes faster, as if you bleh-ed it out just to get it finished. Its still good, it just could've been better.

outta 5